In the morning it was morning and I was still alive.
I am fucking insane but my intentions are gold and my heart is pure.
what if doorbells went dong ding instead of ding dong
don’t say something like that
my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
this post is one of my best by a landslide
Life’s too short to drink crappy coffee and cry over boys who don’t care.
if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right
yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off